found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
