Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
