i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This baby is an asshole
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
