Please, let me fuck your mom
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
