Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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