and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
