First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
