College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
