Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
