Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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