My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
