1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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