i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
