he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i've created a new STD.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
