Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
