he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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