So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
