I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This is classic penis vs brain.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
