I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
