he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
