i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
