:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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