New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
