Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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