anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
