I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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