Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
