3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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