it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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