so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
