I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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