Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
