For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
