Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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