Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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