I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
