im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
