Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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