Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
