Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So squirting runs in the family.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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