Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you pee in the oven last night??
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
