his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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