South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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