VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
