Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Come share oat with me in your robe
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
