I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
