Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
