we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
