dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
