he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
