im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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