Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
