He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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