If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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