You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
