Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
