I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
